


Sins of the fathers

by TetrodotoxinB



Series: Honor thy father and mother [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, POV Danny "Danno" Williams, Unresolved Trauma, s01 e07 ho'apono
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 16:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16141232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TetrodotoxinB/pseuds/TetrodotoxinB
Summary: Steve's always taken it personally when a child has been hurt. Danny finally figures out why.





	Sins of the fathers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icoulddothisallday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icoulddothisallday/gifts).



> Unbeta'd. We die like men.
> 
>  
> 
> Title from Deuteronomy 5:9 (and probably also Exodus and Leviticus and some other places) "...visiting the iniquity(sin) of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation..." Because as parents it is incumbent upon us to make wise choices for our children, they will bear the burdens of our mistakes; abuse being one such burden.

Danny hasn’t even fully opened the door to Five-0 headquarters when Steve calls out, “Where’ve you been?” 

“Hello to you, too. I was busy. I had something I needed to do this morning,” Danny says as he makes his way to the table around which Steve, Kono, and Chin are already gathered.

“What something?” Steve presses.

“Must you know everything, Steven?”

Steve just smiles and stares, a technique which Danny could in theory ignore but never does.

“Fine. I went to Lily Wilson’s school-”

“The little girl from the USS Missouri case?” Steve asks, his brow furrowed.

“Can you- will you just let me finish?”

“Go ahead.”

“Oh, thank you. Anyway, Lily’s aunt was worried that the school wasn’t following procedure. They are required to provide a trauma counselor for her and she said they’ve been trying to get by with just the guidance counselor. I went up there with her to make sure they got the message that the current situation isn’t going to continue.”

Danny purses his lips and waits, but Steve just looks a little dumbfounded. “Can we get to work now, Steve? Are you satisfied?”

Steve seems to mentally shake himself. “Uh, yeah. It’s fine. I’m glad you’re following up with her.”

Danny narrows his eyes. “Uh huh.”

But before Danny can puzzle out Steve’s state of mind, Steve flicks his fingers across the table and suddenly there’s a picture of a dead woman on the screen in front of them. Danny turns his attention to the matter at hand and chalks Steve’s weirdness up to the misty look Steve tends to get when Danny is in Dad-mode with Grace. He gets it. Steve didn’t have an easy go of it, but his issues are nothing new.

*****

It takes two days to wrap up the case and for everything that was normal about the situation, Danny could tell something was off. Still, in the heat of car-chases, gunfights, and watching Steve get stitches for the third time in as many months there wasn’t time to address it. But now they’re out of the hospital — since Danny had insisted on waiting with the idiot to make sure that he didn’t try to leave and go home to sew himself up — and suddenly there’s nothing to say.

It’s ten minutes down the road from Queen’s and Danny can’t take the silence anymore. “You’ve been quiet,” Danny says softly. It doesn’t sound like an accusation and he doesn’t mean it like one, but he also knows that Steve will take it that way nonetheless.

“Just thinking.”

“That’s a nice change. What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

Danny rolls his eyes even though in the dark Steve won’t be able to see it. “It’s either one or the other Steve. First, you were thinking so much it actually shut down your mouth, and then it turned out to be nothing. I am not stupid, Steve. You’re thinking about something.”

He waited, hoping out-wait Steve into talking, but after a minute Danny caved. “I think it’s something to do with Lily Wilson.”

“I was just surprised is all,” Steve finally admits.

“What? Surprised that I care? I care about people, Steven.”

Steve’s voice is tight when he says, “No, surprised that she would get therapy provided by the school.” 

“Her mother died right in front of her. She should have therapy. That is a traumatic event.”

“Of course,” Steve says like Danny’s making all the sense in the world. But the conviction that Danny knows comes with something Steve has determined to be right isn’t there. 

Then, in a flash of infuriating clarity, Danny understands. “Oh my god. Do not tell me that you did not get therapy when your mother-”

“No. No, I did not get therapy when my mother was murdered, Danny. Dad dropped me off at the airport two days after the funeral and that was that.”

“What do you mean ‘that was that’? How does someone have a child and never speak to them again about their trauma? How do they just ship them off and not ask how their kid is doing?” Danny exclaims.

Steve’s hands whiten as he grips the steering wheel. “There weren’t counselors for stuff like that in the 80s, especially not at the Army Navy Academy.”

“So, what? You just didn’t talk about it?” Danny asks, incredulous and unsure if he really wants the answer.

“Not at first. Like I said, Dad dropped me off at the airport — he didn’t exactly take time to talk to me about it. Joe picked me up but I was only with him long enough to get to the academy.” He pauses, and Danny turns to look out the window because the hurt in Steve’s body language bleeds all over Danny like a gunshot wound. They speed down the highway — downtown giving way to suburbs — before Steve goes on. “I got in ten fights the first month. They paddled cadets back then but I just kept at it. Kids that age, they talk about each other’s moms. I’d get pissed, come out swinging. After that first month Joe came down, pulled me out of the barracks in the middle of the night and belted me. Couldn’t sit for four days. After that I got it under control. So no. There was no talking.”

Danny’s stomach rolls and he fights the urge to scream because Steve’s clearly had enough of people getting mad over his emotions and experiences. “Did you get it under control, or did you learn that talking about it only made everything worse? Because those are not the same thing.”

“Look, Danny. That’s the way things were. I turned out fine.”

“Fine” is not the word that Danny would use to describe Steve’s emotional state at any given moment, and rather than the exception, this moment is a shining example of just how fine he isn’t. But Danny holds his tongue because Steve is rarely ever this agitated. They pull off the Kalaniana’ole highway in Aina Haina, and instead of braking Steve lets the momentum of the turn pull Danny sideways in the Camaro. For once Danny just lets him. It isn’t until they’re rolling quietly down a residential road that Steve looks less like he’s going to panic, and Danny decides to chance it. 

“If we picked up a kid who was so bruised that he couldn’t sit we’d call child protective services. We’d arrest the parents and charge them with abuse. Why is it okay for you but not for them?” Danny asks quietly.

“What do you want me to say, Danny? That I was abused? That my father and Joe made mistakes? Do you want me to blame them for doing what they thought was best? Because I need to know, Danny. I am trying here, but I don’t know what it is that you want from me.”

With every victim, and Danny knows that Steve’s the victim here, there’s a line when taking a statement. Sometimes they take a long lunch, sometimes they take the rest of the day. But pushing a witness or a victim too hard makes them scared, makes them feel cornered. The way Steve’s hands grip the steering wheel, the way his jaw is clenched tight — Danny can tell that he needs to back off before he pushes Steve into something they’ll both regret.

“I’m not asking for anything, Steve,” he says softly as they pull into the drive. “I just wanted to tell you that, unlike everyone else, I will listen; that talking about your feelings won’t drive me away. I will never punish you for being human, alright? That’s all.”

There’s a split second of hesitation before Steve lets go of the wheel and for a moment Danny thinks he might spill. But then he yanks the car door open instead.

“Can you pick me up on the way to work?” he asks, his eyes pointed at the floorboard, unable to even face Danny.

Danny nods and tries not to look too disappointed. “Of course, you big idiot. What, did you think I was going to make you walk in the morning? You left your truck at the Palace. I’ll be here in the morning.”

Steve gets out, and Danny hurries to follow because maybe on his way to the driver’s side he can intercept Steve.

But Steve is halfway across the yard by the time Danny makes it around the front of the car. “Night,” Danny calls to Steve’s rapidly retreating back.

Steve turns and waves a little at Danny, but he says nothing and his eyes never meet Danny’s. A moment later Danny is left standing alone in Steve’s yard.

*****

Kono and Chin packed it in and split as soon as the clock hit five. Danny is lingering though, trying to finish up the last of his reports for the feeling of relaxation that comes with being done. He can milk the satisfaction of being done all weekend rather than knowing that he has paperwork to come back to on Monday.

There’s a tap on his door and Danny looks up to see Steve standing in the doorway.

“Hey,” Danny says. “What’s up?”

“You got plans tonight?” Steve asks.

Danny pauses a moment. Steve’s fidgeting, his arms crossed over his chest and his shoulders turned ever so slightly forward.

“Nah, nothing,” Danny answers because if Steve is this upset then his plans are whatever Steve needs them to be.

“I think I’m ready to talk.”

It takes Danny a moment to figure out what Steve’s talking about. It’s been over a month since the night that they talked about Lily Wilson and the holes in Steve’s upbringing. So it takes a moment for Danny’s brain to catch up to the proceedings but as soon as he does he says, “Sure thing.”

Steve smiles, small and guarded but genuine. “I’m gonna go pick up a couple steaks and fire up the grill. You wanna grab the beer?”

“Can do. See you about 6:30?” Danny asks.

“Sounds good,” Steve agrees quietly.

Danny has to fight the urge to go around his desk and take Steve into his arms. He wants to scoop out every ounce of neglect and abuse and fear and grief that never got resolved, to heal every hurt that got papered over so thick that Steve mistook it all for love. Danny wants to wrap it all up in his arms and hug Steve until he knows his worth and the rest of it is gone. But that’s not how it works so instead he sits at his desk, waiting.

This has to be on Steve’s terms, has to be his choice, has to be about him no matter how much it guts Danny to see him standing in the doorway to his office holding himself like the scared kid that never got the kindness he needed.

“You alright, Steve?” Danny asks cautiously.

“Yeah,” Steve says on a rushed breath. It’s a lie through and through, and he immediately turns to leave as though that will cover it.

“Woah, hey,” Danny calls after him, and Steve pulls up short. “What do you need?”

Steve leans fractionally towards Danny and then jams his hands in his pockets. “Nothing. Just thinking is all.”

“You know you can ask for a hug if you need one, you great big goof.”

The words are barely out of Danny’s mouth and Steve closes the distance between them in two long strides, even before can get his arms all the way open. He burrows his face into Danny’s neck and holds on tight. Danny clings just as tightly. But Steve, for as much as he seems to need the hug, pulls back far too soon in Danny’s opinion. He’s all tension, but Danny knows that for now anything else would probably be too much to expect. 

“Alright. I’ll see you in a bit?” Steve asks, sounding far too tentative for someone who’s already been told “yes.”

“Yeah. Come on. Let’s get out of here. These reports aren’t going anywhere,” Danny says.

Danny walks back into his office long enough to flip his laptop shut. Suddenly his reports are the farthest thing from his mind, and he bounds down the steps behind Steve, ready to be there for his partner in whatever way he can.


End file.
